i admit i am the worst online friend in existance. i have been meaning to reply to comments, send emails, and perform a slew of other assorted basic digital communications i promised to do 5 years ago. i havent! i havent read journals, bulletins, communities, hell... i havent read anything personal really.

sorry.

i have been really busy, so i will post an actual non-ebay related update for those who care. angelina has had a bit of trouble adjusting to kindergarten. she has a strict teacher that gives her 3 pages of homework a night.... i'm sorry, but i dont remember even HAVING homework in kindergarten. its bad enough she goes all day, the teacher disciplines them by setting them aside and then sending them home with a paper making them write out things like "I will treat others the way I want to be treated." this doesnt sit well with my little free spirit... she does need to be kept in line sometimes, but not the way her teacher is doing it. the teacher (who already had a conference with me) said that she and the other students had "voted angelina off the carpet" (during circle time). ummm.... emotionally scarring much?? in a brighter note angelina started dancing school, she is doing a ballet & tap combo class.

speaking of school, i need to finish one more class to get my degree. my required math class of course! i am in it right now... it ends in two months, and i'd better pass. i decided to get an associates degree in general studies, just because thats all i qualify for. i have way over 60 credits, but i dont know what i want to get a bachelors degree in anymore. i am quitting school for at least a year, or until i make up my mind... and i figure it would be nice to get a degree before quitting.

i have been doing well with money. my grandmother lent me almost $5k a few months ago to pay off my credit card bills. in return i will be paying her back several hundred a month for the next 14 months without all that interest. its helped alot. my business has been doing well... i did get another credit card (smacks head!) but its for business use. i have been stocking up on things... i have been making enough money to go off food stamps! yay for me. i guess i dont completely hate ebay.

in happy news: i got a new camera!! its a canon powershot A630, and its great. i also got an ipod!! i am glad i waited all these years, i got an 80gb ipod video for $349. i remember when 40gb ones were selling for $500+ last year! x__X i also got an order from fredflare.com ... it only took 3 days to get to me! i was so happy.... i got a golden books calendar, a toy sewing machine for angelina, and a super malfi!!!!!

i love my malfi!!!



well, enough for now.... that about highlights all the excitement in my little world.
xoxox

i'm fucking registering my kid for kindergarten and i am barely an adult. i look younger than i am. these people dont respect me. they treat me like a kid. they treat me like i am an idiot also.

DO I STAND HERE AND GET STEPPED ON???
do i smile and accept the substandard treatment because i am young and poor and therefore viewed and treated differently by society than the thirty-something "well off" happily married parents of all the other potential kindergarten students???!!
do i take it in the ass and suffer silent, or do i speak up for myself and therefore endure years of my life being hated for doing so?
that is the question.

jihad: the struggle within. do i walk in line with the crowd of sheep, or become the whistleblower that nature intended me to be? i too walk the line, and not the one waiting outside of the mission that consists of addicts, drunks and homeless persons waiting for bread and/or soup.

yyyawn
goodnite.

p.s. i cut all my hair off and lost my camera:

A girl I know from Rutherford NJ is missing, and possibly hurt or dead. Please try and repost this, this is the real deal and not some stupid chain letter. Here is a link to the news article for reference:
Bergen County Divers Search For Missing NJ Woman

Diana Ham is still missing, it has been 9 days now and still no sign of her. This is NOT some selfish, "hate the world" getaway like people have been thinking. Police have checked cell phone and credit card records, they have been inactive for a week.....Something bad happened, and we need to find her, everybody that knows Diana and loves her is trying to do everything possible, please repost this again and again everyday until she is found..........
 
www.myspace.com/dianaham

If you don't know what she looks like, she has several tattoos, the biggest one on her right shoulder, a crane in a pink and green background going from her bicep across her back, her hair may or may not be colored.......I don't know what else to say.

purchasing my clothes is a vote for freedom.
plus, they're on sale.

the marilyn news quickie

i finished school!
final exams were floundered, written documents were everything short of forged/falsified (thank god for "paraphrasing") and discussions were... discussed. right after my final final, i picked up my daughter who had caught a raging stomach flu and proceeded to puke all over my car and house. then she got an ear infection and has been home with me all week, allowing me to get minimal work done.

seeing as classes for this trimester started march 1st, i am already back to school.

i broke my hand!
well that is yet to be determined however i did slam it into a metal cabinet and messed it up something aweful. being my dominant hand this will be is a problem. the damage is somewhere on my middle finger and it would be funny if they gave me a splint for just my middle finger.

look forward to posts that lack content.

other exciting news

i am getting my dsl back on march 8th!!!
all those times when i bitched and moaned about how slow my dsl was, god had laid his wrath upon me with this two month punishment of dial up internet access. i now have a greater and deeper appreciation of broadband.

i am getting a new computer!!!
after years of suffering the crishes and crashes of my soon-to-be former computer, my dear old hubby decided to buy me a new one, in celebration of his new job, as a present for my birthday, and in exchange for sexual favors. which, last i heard, is not legally considered prostitution. until this search for the newest bestest computer that i can get for $500, i really had no clue that i was living in the stone age. they dont even sell computers of my speed and capacity anymore, not even refurbished ones.

international pi day
on an undisclosed date in the near future, i will be turning 24 and will no longer be a part of the 'early twenties' category of people, more-so the 'mid-twenties' or 'twenty-something' groups. the age in which college graduates begin to settle down and have children, but since i like tend to do things the wrong way, maybe in the next year or so i will graduate college.

my hand is falling asleep from all this activity. i dont think that is a good sign.

ciao for now.
-marilyn.

the marilyn news. #numero uno.
making crack seem viable, since 1998 respectively
february 20th, 2006.

1. the joseph patric robie blowjob foundation, part two: the electric boogaloo
this is not about getting mybabydaddy a blowjob in anyway, as was misconstrued in my first post way back in yonder day. its about blowjob donations for the truly needy. and this post really has nothing to do with that, except for the fact that robie cant access myspace from work anymore, and even if he could, he wouldnt see this, because he refuses to add me to his friends list. so to the potential informants i must make the disclaimer that this is not, and has not ever been about getting joseph patric robie a blowjob. i just thought it would be funny to name the foundation after him.

2. funeral for a friend.
over a week ago, i woke up to a cranky child, one and a half feet of snow, a broken computer, and a dead car. the computer needed a new power source, so it was replaced with a new one only to discover the keyboard port WILL NOT WORK. although i can use a computer without a keyboard, i cannot write. WHICH DRIVES ME CRAZY. therefore i am once again communicating digitally via my broken laptop (after days of cut and paste hell) now i am no stranger to cranky children, computer problems, and car trouble. i've also been accustomed to snow. but ultimately, it was the death of my car that saddens me. after joint efforts in digging it out, it made a scary clunk when i tried to start it, that just said 'goodbye.' to add insult to injury, i couldnt get the car door closed. still cant. i removed the most personal of my personal possessions, hung my head, and walked away.

so before i duct tape the door shut and send it off to the glue factory, i was wondering if i should have a funeral or at least a celebration to say goodbye. yeah, its dumb, but fuck it-- so am i, and i have had that car since before i even got my license, i have always been rather attached to it. i have laughed in it, cried in it, slept in it, fucked in it, puked in it, lived out of it, and got lost in my own mind in it. i have driven through hurricanes and snowstorms. i have blew out every tire at least 3 times. i knocked off both mirrors at least twice. i wont even go into the illegal things that i have (allegedly) done involving my vehicle. it is a sad, sad day in mari-land.

3. i found my keys!
$money$
a zillion stockings on sale now! i am trying to add new shit to my store, but this whole broken laptop thing is making the transition difficult. so buy my stuff, help me get a new computer so i can stop having sex for money.


4. last, not least.
i have ten 500-700 word short essays, thirty 75-150 word 'short answer' questions to write for history. i have 14 essay questions plus an agency report for my psychology class. i have a 10 page research paper plus all the other goodies such as outlines, notecards, essays, and whatnot for english. i have 18 'online discussions' to participate in, plus 36 answers to post as responses to others online discussion answers. i have three 3 hour final exams. i have roughly 5 days to complete all this, in order to pass college. you do the math. should i be writing to ANYONE right now??? we all know the answer to that.

signing off,
the marilyn.
(the doctor, the ride.)

Current Mood: determined

the marilyn news- unofficial first release #zero
telling it like it is, since 1998 respectively

welcome to my FIRST EVER quasi-public non-secret newsletter issued to the republic of my friends list on myspace and livejournal against your will and at my own discretion. (to the handful familiar with my antics, welcome to the beginning of the dawning of the watered down version of the truth.)

1. number two.
monday afternoon, i eagerly return home from my 2.5 hour trip to the supermarket with $70+ dollars worth of cleaning supplies. whilst vigorously scrubbing the toilet, i finally felt the urge to purge. my bowels, which hadnt moved in almost a week, let loose a gentle giant that stuck to the side of the bowl. it finally went down the drain, but not without leaving a mark.

this angered me.

suddenly, not only did i have to scrub off the fresh mark, i was completely dissatisfied with my original cleaning. this time i scrubbed harder, using more cleanser, and more precision. i cleaned the entire toilet, not just the innerworkings. while letting a foamy substance loosen the remainder of the grime, i sat at my computer to catch up on more important work.

knock-knock. nature calling! i hear you knocking... but you cant come in. eventually, i couldnt take it, it got the best of me. the beast i unsheathed was small in comparison to some of my past work, alas on this gleaming white palate it was unduly heinous.

this is my life, one mean shit after another. i take the time to clean it up, only to have it immediately soiled upon.

2. $money$
i am selling the remainder of everything that was in my ebay store. so if you ever liked anything in my store, look at my auctions, its there if it isnt gone. also about 50 different pairs of stockings starting at $0.99. go bid and make me rich well off self sustaining get me out of debt.


3. musical ISPs
i ditched AOL!!!!!!!! i am firmly convinced that AOL is a terrorist organization and should be shut down sans-haste. now i am trying copper.net, its $1 for 3 months and doesnt put ANY INVASIVE FILES OR PROGRAMS ON YOUR COMPUTER!!!!! i ordered verizon DSL but they are "backed up" at the office and cant hook it up until like, their 'free month' promotion is over i bet.

4. other gayness
i changed my myspace profile. and my livejournal profile. and i put a quiz there. and some new (old) pictures. i have a hundred thousand pictures to post and i am too lazy to resize all of them. they are great pictures. y'all are missin out.

i am currently trying to download a good photo gallery software so i can upload all my photos and have them internet friendly without having to resize them myself. anyone know of anything?? i want to put it on my own website, and not one of those photo gallery sites with ads and shit. i kept trying to download one called 'gallery' but aol wouldnt let me finish the download. i will try again unless someone knows of something better!!!

5. attention writers!
i want to make a zine. i have wanted to for the past decade. however, assuming that the world doesnt want to read an entire publication of my own opinions, the senior editorial staff (me) is seeking minions. effective the end of this month, when my online classes end and i officially have no educational priorities, i want to set this plan in motion. seeing as my only new years resolution is to stop saying things that i want to do, and just start doing them.

instead of fucking around and just saying 'i wanna help!' email me your contributions. writing, articles, poetry, pictures, drawings, music you want reviewed, etc. i will let you know if i will be using it, obviously. your work will be credited. this is one of those exercize your free speech things so it can be about WHATEVER YOU WANT, NO MATTER HOW CONTROVERSIAL. i dont know when it will come out, but it will. i must do this, because this is what i must do.

email me: marilyn@mmemarilyn.net

6. mind over matter
enough of this crap.

marilyn, signing off
[ eighth of february, two thousand and six ]

it was NOT a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
who remembers my next door neighbor diane?
(show of hands)


on saturday she died, painfully and suddenly after being rushed to the emergency room for an infection in her pancreas. we all knew she was going to die, but it all happened so quickly, and were all pretty upset.

if you have ever been to my house, or were at my wedding, you probably remember the crazy, cackling, drunk, pill-popping, loud, obnoxious red haired lady who lived next door to me. she was hollering at chris's legs and cracking up during the wedding ceremony, and had a tendency of wandering into our house drunk at 2:30 in the morning on her way home from "the bar" (which only meant Rockefellers because she was banned from most of the bars within a 5 mile radius.) she might have groped you or told you the same thing several times in a row. often people said she "scared" them.

well in real life, she wasnt scary, she was probably one of the most kindhearted people i know. she took in animals (even had a pet squirrel for a while which she let go and still fed in the backyard), was always bringing over ice-pops or other various things for Angelina, and was usually home with something to drink, a bowls worth of hierba, or a roll of toilet paper, etc. she always had something interesting or crazy to talk about, whether or not she had told you 5 times already. like grabbing a congressmans ass at some democratic convention, or some guy paying her for sex asking her to pee on him... and then peeing in his mouth for kicks. if ANYBODY had a problem in our building, she was always the first to call the landlord.

she had quite an amazing life behind her too. she left home at 15 and became a heroin addicted stripper/prostitute, who married a puerto-rican dude at a young age (thus the hispanic sounding last name, despite the fact that she was 100% fighting-irish.) the two of them began "busting up" whorehouses at gunpoint regularly, like some perverted sadistic bonnie and clyde duo, which came to a drastic halt when her husband decided it would be a good idea to sodomize one of the hookers, which landed him in jail for sodomy. (robbing whorehouses was not only profitable but relatively safe, since they are much less likely than a normal business establishment to go to the police claiming thier whorehouse had been robbed.) with alot of money in a bank account under a false name, and without a husband (i believe he was killed in jail) she began working the streets of new york.

she told fabulous tales about the upper crust wall street men that were her frequent customers; they would come bringing her roses, jewelry, fur coats, and other various finery. she encouranged me to become a dominatrix because you didnt have to touch the men (but to 'watch out, because they could turn on you' and advised me to keep razorblades hidden in my hair for those occasions) and told me about the time she made a man on a leash go around licking the floor of the strip joint she was working in, laughing about the fact that other men would jerk off on the floor. she estimated making about $1500 in tax free money a night 'dancing'. she also did some part time gigs, like selling drugs or simply bagging up coke (a man with a gun made her strip completely naked and go into a room with huge rocks of cocaine and other naked people sitting there bagging up rock. this was obviously to ensure that none of them slipped out any of that cocaine in those clothes of theirs.)

as she faded from the scene she quit banging heroin and retired to east rutherford, (on full disability-- getting money, food, healthcare, and even her rent money from the government) and became a full-time pill popping drunk. she tried getting work at the local establishments, but at the tender age of 40 was often denied. she would offer to 'throw you a pop', like it was some form of currency..... if she wanted to borrow some money, or get some drugs, she would offer to throw the person 'a pop' in exchange (which i believe equated to one roll in the hay, but i wouldnt know, because she never threw me one). she got me my first-and only- paying gig taking off my clothes for money (with the guy from down the street that paid her $500 to fuck her in the ass- frequently.)

diane was quite a character, i idolized her in the fact that she always seemed to get whatever it was she wanted. but she didnt want to die, even though she said she did....... she just didnt want to suffer anymore. she will be sorely missed. even all those times she woke me up at 4am by blasting her cheesy KTU music after stumbling home piss drunk in her stilettos after last call. or waking up to her loud voice right outside my window because she was sitting on her porch smoking cigarettes and talking on the phone to one of her friends from the hood. (the funniest was coming home and seeing stromboli two houses down sitting on his porch talking on the phone, and then getting to my house seeing diane sitting on her porch talking on the phone to stromboli.)

her funeral was sad, it didnt look like her, it looked like some sick old woman. i was mad at the outfit her family had chosen for her to wear, because -pardon the pun- she wouldnt be caught dead in it. she would have been much happier with a skintight tank top and spandex shorts, or the flashing bottle-caps over her nipples, a g-string and a feather boa.

its depressing, but it was more depressing seeing her get ill. her partying stopped abruptly, but she had already fallen very ill and it just got worse. the last time i saw her she looked like the walking dead, she was sheet white and when i waved at her she didnt wave back, i dont think she even saw me. she was always such a tough cookie, even at barely 5 feet tall and 80 pounds she didnt take no guff from nobody. seeing her so frail and sick was a shock.

so i am glad her suffering has ended.
but i am sorry to see her go.
we will miss her, our neighborhood will never be the same.
=(

DIANE: GET OUT THERE, AND RIP HELL A NEW ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxox

Stupid shit I should have known.
* 2002 was 3 YEARS AGO, and I dont even want to think about 2000...
* According to my fake ID, I will be 29 by June. Did you hear that?? 29!!! Dude I was 17 a week ago.
* I am bleeding heavily.
* Being in debt sucks.
* Life only gets MORE monotonous... providing it goes on.
* What quixotic means, considering I selected it as my current mood.

Current Mood: quixotic

Well I disappeared sort of, but thats because I have been dicking around on Myspace!! Because I am a giant loser. So if you have myspace and you haven't added me ADD ME HERE!!! bitch. =)